I just returned from a short vacation on the Isle of Corsica, France. A ‘time out’ I was looking forward to for weeks because I was hoping, with a distance, I would finally get perspective and perhaps receive ‘signs’ as an answer to a nagging thought that’s been a nuisance in my head for weeks.
And let me tell you: on this short vacation, I didn’t just receive signs. I got a wake-up call from my Soul as well!
Here’s what happened:
Weeks ago, as I was preparing to run a Masterclass of mine called ‘The Breakthrough Code’, I didn’t feel as excited about it as I normally would.
Something was missing, it just didn’t sit right. And so I didn’t run the class.
But I also couldn’t put my finger on the ‘why’ it didn’t feel right and what was missing.
Or did I?
In all honesty: deep inside I knew what was missing and I also knew the ‘why’.
I just didn’t dare to let ‘it’ surface because I kept hearing negative voices and gave into the doubt of ‘it’ not being a relevant domain in today’s overly masculine-dominated world. So I kept hesitating and hesitating, becoming more and more frustrated and un-easy about it all. To the point of mental paralyzation because I was over-analyzing, constantly.
Do you know the feeling?
Some of you may ask: ‘But Kerstin, how can this happen to you? You are always the one encouraging us to go for what’s in our heart no matter what?’
And I would have to say “You are right!” But, there are also levels.
Like anyone working on themselves to become a better version and honing into their talents and gifts, I too am growing and evolving. It’s an ongoing journey that never ends. And with every new/next level we are reaching, there are starting doubts. That is normal.
The quest is to conquer those (self) doubts, silence the nay-sayer voices in the head, and ‘level in’ to hit that initial breaking point from which the growth journey begins.
Everyone is experiencing it differently. For me, it sometimes truly is ‘paralysis by analysis’. Until the breaking point. And that breaking point was this short vacation on Corsica Island.
The ‘signs’ I was hoping to receive appeared left and right. And with the freedom of being on vacation, taken out of the every-day blinders ‘because-I-have-too-much-to-do’, my eyes and heart were wide open and I enjoyed the input and downloads from Source, God, Spirit, the Ancestors, the Elders…you name it!
It started right away. We had just arrived in town from the airport and started our first walking tour. There it was: a huge sign hanging from a banister on a bridge over a main road leading into Bastia, one of the larger cities in the North of the island where we had rented a vacation home.
Big letters announced the ‘FESTIVAL DE TAROT’, apparently a 5-day event organized by a local Tarot club.
WHAAAAT? I did not expect this as the very first ‘sign’ on a sunny vacation island destination.
And right there it hit me that this—TAROT—is a huge part of what
was is missing.
I’m a huge fan of Tarot and an avid Reader for longer than I can remember, sometimes more private and sometimes more public.
(Many might remember me being the resident reader at the Sage Goddess in her Torrance, CA HQ location for several years. And PS: don’t worry, my Readings have nothing to do with Fortune Telling and this is not what Tarot is for IMO. I also developed my very own method of Reading the stories the cards reveal because I focus on personal growth above anything else. But that’s for a later story so make sure to follow this blog to not miss it.)
Unfortunately I missed this before-mentioned event because it happened the week prior. But what it told me was that Tarot is indeed very much alive across the world, people love it, and there is no reason why I shouldn’t re-emerge from my ‘Tarot closet’ since it had been part of that nagging thought I mentioned at the beginning of this article.
What needs to ‘be’ will always
come back be in front of us, no matter how many times we look the other way or try to avoid it.
Tarot seems to be one of those ‘be’ items for me. And this time: I’m taking the hint and ‘come out of the Tarot closet’ into the public once again.
After all, it’s something I truly enjoy and personally work with every day.
But this was just the beginning!
On our excursions the following days, there have been many moments in which I was reminded of my more ‘magical‘ gifts, talents and the blessings we receive when we open ourselves to things beyond the mundane.
Looking with an open heart and a sense of wonder into our surroundings, we will experience everything differently.
The magic of the Divine Feminine is presenting itself in the beauty of Nature and People, shifting what we look at to a different experience when we truly ‘see’. And often, what presents itself in front of our very eyes is exactly what we were seeking, in image, form or inspiration.
Like: rather than just three cats appearing and ‘staying watch’ in a triangle around you every morning and evening when you’re enjoying the Sun rise or set, you might see three messengers of the Goddess Isis paying a visit when she’s the deity you call upon most when seeking ancestral wisdom.
Rather than just sitting in a cafe being busy concentrating on the food and drink on the table, you might notice the setting of the place beyond the casual ‘it’s nice’. You might also notice the people and start reading their energy. You might acknowledge the prints on their clothes and realize there is an LA-theme going on that is completely random: Dodgers Tricots, Lakers Shirts, LA baseball hats, and for good measure Hotel California is playing in the background. And since you’ve been homesick for the City of Angels for months, it’s perhaps a hello from afar and a message that life at home is longing for your presence just as much.
Rather than just rushing through a new town you visit, you might stop to look at the building that caught your eye. Perhaps it’s old, abandoned and half in ruins but you can still see the details from the original build. And while you’re snapping away taking photos you realize that it’s not the paint that gives the building character and beauty, but the love and care the structure was build with and the heart of the people who lived in it. And you take it all in and realize once more that this is true not just for buildings but people too. And it validates that, what you are teaching has value and is needed to empower confidence and posture in those who seek to become more authentic and charismatic in their presence, especially as they go through the midlife
Of course these were my experiences. Yet, they might as well be yours. For every time you decide to ’see’ instead of just look: inspiration and signs are truly all around.
And the most meaningful ‘sign’ for me on this trip to ‘Isla Belle’ relates to the elemental energies I experienced as we journeyed across the island.
Let me share this bit of the story with you after a few of my fav photo ops from this trip.
Enjoy these few snapshots of Corsica, or Continue the story by jumping over the photos
…the story continues
So, where were we? Ah yes, the third sign, the wake-up call, delivered by the elements. Or: the element. Here goes:
Many years ago, it was 2007, I had a panic experience while visiting family on Maui, Hawaii. We had gone swimming and the water was pretty murky that day. Without going into details, something went terribly wrong and I’ve not been in the water (ocean or lake) ever since.
Now, water is pretty important to me. Not only do I enjoy the calming and cleansing effect when water runs over my body, I also crave its divine feminine energy*.
It’s one of the reasons why I would have homes next to large bodies of water wherever I lived.
So it was clear that there had to be a beach day on our trip, just for me to sit on the shore and soak in the sound of the waves crushing in and feeling the nurturing energy of the water.
Both me and my partner were drawn to one of the more secluded beaches that had a special flare: it wasn’t a white sandy beach as you might have expected. Instead, it was a beach of black pebble stones. We found it by chance driving around Cap Corse, a must if you ever have the chance when visiting Corsica.
With a temperature that day of 36 Celsius (just about 100 degree Fahrenheit) you can imagine the stones being super hot. Not only was it difficult to walk from the parking lot over to the shore across a seeming lava field trying to melt my sandals, laying on a rather thin beach towel separating the stones from my skin was the greater challenge. It took all of 2 minutes before standing in the water sounded like a really good idea.
Though, standing wasn’t possible because the swell was too strong and the shore a bit too steep.
So I sat, right at the edge of the water, taking it all in: the ocean breeze, the cooling effect of the water and the sound of the waves whizzing as the water rushed back through the pebbles into the ocean. It felt as if all worries and stress were taken out of me to make room for clarity and fresh inspiration. It was fantastic!
The combination of the steeper shore, the salty ocean water and the pebble stones also created a very unique energy, everything appeared ‘stronger’, more powerful. And this feeling of ‘more powerful’ slowly took a hold of me. So much so that courage came into play and I felt the impulse to go into the water and swim!
So here is another WHAAAAT?
Yes, I felt I wanted to go into the water. And with the water being so clear I dared to go in. That was a huge moment for me: conquering my fear that had been stifling me for too long, and daring to trust and follow my instinct to break a panic spell.
And Neptune was friendly welcoming me as the water hugged my body.
I dared and broke a 15-year panic spell that’s been ‘blocking’ me.
Here’s a soundbite of the waves whizzing through the pebble stones. Doesn’t it sound amazing?
That moment I dove into the water, it was as if my Soul got a burst and was reconnected with a missing piece that vanished in 2007.
My Soul regenerated in an instant, and the vision of my next project became crystal clear.
Since that moment, things have turned and moved rather rapidly. On the way back to Germany I already started writing, excited that I received the insights, signs and inspiration I had been asking for.
And my Soul? She feels whole again, happy, heard and empowered.
There is a new/next level of Self-love that goes beyond the mundane. It’s the connection to your Soul, to your heart, and the trust and confidence to hone into what sets you heart on fire.
For me it’s sharing stories of magic, truth, beauty and empowerment.
For you: I wish you found your passion and live it, every single day without hesitation or giving in to panic spells for too long. Yes, everything has its time. But we have to realize too: life is short and our Souls came here to accomplish healing, change and growth.
I hope you are on your journey!
Stay tuned for much more on Understanding the Souls’ Language, AGING BEAUTIFUL and Owning the Change You Desire in the upcoming posts.
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*Feminine energy is all of the nurturing traits it takes to connect to and with human beings in a meaningful and fulfilling way. It’s compassionate, kind, empathetic, patient and emotional. It’s about embracing your intuition and creativity. Feminine energy is fluid and free. It’s about being.
1. I have no affiliation with vendors or businesses on Corsica, France. Mentions about the island or any businesses are purely because I enjoyed them.
2. If you have questions to anything in the article please connect with me via my contact page or drop a comment below.
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